A few weeks ago, I posted about how my 3 1/2 year old was giving me a run for my money at mealtime { see here }. Refusing to eat, throwing fits, “hating” everything. Ugh.
I was so glad to hear from your comments that I am definitely not alone on the “my toddler / kid won’t eat” front. I also received some really good advice from some of you and have started doing a few new things that are helping.
So in the interest of saving you from your own battle over dinner with your picky eater, here’s what we’re doing that seems to be helping:
1. Let go.
This is big for me. I have it pounded in my head that my child needs to eat 3 meals a day, each with all food groups present. She has never had to clean her plate completely, but I was a stickler for getting her to eat a good portion of it. I’ve never been able to let go and let her leave the table with only a few bites eaten, but this is a big part of why I was going so crazy. I’m slowly, but surely getting better at letting go and realizing that if she is hungry enough, she will eat. If not, it’s not the end of the world! It’s been easier since putting the ideas below into place, and dinnertime is so much more pleasant without me yelling at her to “take a bite!” over and over again.
2. Start the day on the right foot.
Breakfast was never a problem, until recently. Lately my toddler has been getting up and asking for breakfast right away, then when I sit her down with it, she will pick at it and refuse to eat. 45 minutes at the table with one bite eaten is TOO long. So on the recommendation of a girlfriend, I decided to start her with something small that she liked. Now I give her a granola bar before anything else. She loves them and I haven’t had a problem with her eating them thus far. Once she finishes it, she can have something else if she wants it (pancakes, eggs, cereal, fruit, etc). If she doesn’t eat anything else, at least I know she got some fiber and whole grains in her and I didn’t waste time or food in preparing something.
3. Increase the importance of snack time.
My daughter is an excellent snacker; she asks for food all day long. I suddenly realized that if she was willing to eat at alternate times, why wasn’t I giving her majority of her food then and avoiding a big fight over it at breakfast, lunch and dinner? Instead of giving her small snacks throughout the day and larger portions at mealtime, I am offering her the same sized portions 6 or 7 times a day. Luckily she snacks on healthy foods, since I’ve never been big on buying junk food. So snacks consist of nutrients she needs in foods like cheese, whole grain crackers, graham crackers, fresh fruit, yogurt, snap pea crisps (those things are amazing), cranberries/raisins, etc.
{ sidenote: If your child doesn’t like to snack or doesn’t enjoy fruits and vegetables, try cramming their nutrients into the meals they will eat. I highly suggest buying Jessica Seinfeld’s “Deceptively Delicious
4. Change portion sizes at mealtime.
At dinner, my daughter will get a little bit of a hardier meal based on what I am making for everyone (spaghetti, a casserole, chicken & veggies, etc.), but I give her a very small portion. This is all psychological for me, but if I can see less food on her plate that doesn’t get eaten, I don’t freak out over wasted food. When I give her a small portion and she cleans her plate, both her and I feel good. If she eats her first small helping, she can most certainly have more or even a different food if she really hates what we’re having.
5. Pick your battles.
Don’t make it so hard on yourself. I usually give myself a break at lunchtime and feed her something I know she will eat (which is mainly mac n’ cheese, hot dogs, or peanut butter and jelly). I’ll fight her later at dinner…
6. Give her options.
Another reader suggested letting my daughter help make the meal plan for the week. I know from experience that anytime I let her choose from two things, it usually works. So although I haven’t tried this yet, I am planning to make a meal plan for the week and then let her choose between two of the options in my plan for that night’s dinner. If she chose it, I get to remind her of such later when she refuses to eat it. Hopefully being involved in the process will help her want to eat it. Along the same lines, I have decided that I need to get her in the kitchen with me more often and have her help make the meal. It can be so time consuming and frustrating to cook with a 3 year old, but I think it will help her take pride and ownership in the meal – especially if we praise her when we eat about how good it is and how well she did. Again, these are just ideas, so I’ll have to get back to you on how well they work! And, of course, every child is different, but I think this will work pretty well based on my daughter’s personality and what she responds to.
If you’ve got more ideas, leave them in the comments below! There can never be too many things to try.
*Disclosure: Affiliate links used